SOS in Texas, Let's Fire Teachers and Cops

The state of Texas has a budget shortfall. So the solution is obvious; let's get rid of our most important services. I heard two guys arguing on the radio this morning about whether we should put off buying new text books or start laying off teachers. Yeah, I'm sure those are the only options available, oh and don't forget we could start letting criminals out of jail. Am I the only one getting tired of this crap. From 2001-2011 Texas education spending increased fro $45 billion to $75 billion dollars (66%), health and human services more than doubled from $29 to $59 billion. No other area of the budget was even close. Now, consider a couple of points:

• First, on the education side, we spent $30 billion more last year than we did a decade ago and by all accounts got a worse result. Maybe the problem isn't how much money we have, but how effectively we use it. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie says they spend more than any state in the country, yet consistently are among the worst performing. Maybe the problem is that the people who oversee education are too concerned with things other than math, reading, and history. You know, things like diversity, cultural tolerance, and save the planet, earth day nonsense. I don't need or want schools teaching my kids morals or values, I'll handle that, just teach them to read damn it!
• The second thing is this: Why has health and human services spending doubled in ten years? Has the population doubled? Has anything else doubled? No, welfare spending has doubled because some politicians need to buy votes and others are afraid to oppose them. Keep in mind this happened under a Republican governor and legislature. The people who work and pay taxes can't keep supporting the ones who don't because, as we can see, that second group gets bigger every year. The free ride has to stop at some point and if that offends some people, well that's just tough. Everyone is going to have to take responsibility for themselves and their families. If you can't afford to take care of your kids, then stop having so damn many. People are quick to blames this on illegal immigration and that's absolutely part of the problem. But, there are plenty of native born Americans and Texans that are content to sit on their butt and accept government assistance and I'm tired of footing the bill.

I give Texas government some credit because we're in a lot better shape than most states, but politicians everywhere need to grow a pair because, right now, I see only a handful of elected officials in the entire country with the stones to face this problem; and that's not near enough.

Some Great Role Modeling in Wisconsin

I think it's time we acknowledged the incredible leadership and examples being set in Wisconsin on several fronts.

• First on the list; the teachers who have bravely abandoned their jobs and taken to the streets to protest the outrageous possibility that the recession, which has cost millions of Americans their homes and jobs, might now have a small effect on them. Some times you just have to take a stand. Hell, if they wanted to live by the same rules as the people who pay their salaries; they wouldn't have joined a union right? This is exactly the message we need educators sending our kids: "The democratic process, will of the people, and all that other crap is great...unless it doesn't go our way. It's not their fault the state is broke and lots of people are unemployed, just raise taxes on the ones who still have jobs. Otherwise, we'll take our toys and go home. So what if they have a contract, that's just words written on a piece of paper. Why honor your word when you've got a fake doctor's note? Truly inspirational, I just can't understand why test scores in the U.S.have been steadily declining for decades. Why would anyone send their kid to a private school?
• Up next; let's give some credit to the Wisconsin Senate Democrats who, in a bold stand on principle, said to hell with their responsibilities to the voters and went to the beer joint. After all, majority rule is a great idea, as long as it's a Democratic majority.
• It's only appropriate, since we're talking leadership and role models, that we mention President Obama. Once again, the leader of the once free world is leading the battle to crush states rights. Rallying his communist allies, such as Richard Trumka and the AFL-CIO, Obama as added Governor Scott Walker and the people of Wisconsin to his list of enemies with the Taliban, Al-Queda, Arizona, and Texas. Who do these people think they are opposing his friends in the unions?. Hell, if it's just a matter of money, we'll just print more. What's the big deal?

With role models like this for the youth of America to look up to, how could we not be optimistic about the future?

Maybe Some Freedoms Should Be Restricted

I believe government, at all levels, is far too intrusive. It seems they place more restrictions on liberty every day. As a general rule, I'm completely opposed to that. Even though I may not always make the best choices; I don't want to be told what to eat, what temperature to set my A/C at, or what doctor I should see. But, if we're going to restrict freedoms; there are a couple of areas where a little regulation would actually benefit society. Let's start with parenting. Now I believe parents should have complete control of how they raise their children, we just need restrictions on who can become a parent. I'm gonna put this as nicely as possible; "Some people are just too damn stupid to have kids."   I mean, you have to get a permit to build a fence or install a burglar alarm, but anyone with a functioning set of testicles can be somebody's dad. Sorry, but that's messed up. I think you should have to pass an exam to show that you have some basic common sense. I'm not talking SAT, just something simple, like 25-50 yes or no questions. For example: Is it acceptable to get a four year old a Mohawk haircut or a tattoo? Oops, wrong answer, please step to the right and drop your pants for a complimentary vasectomy. How about: 

• Have you ever starred in an episode of "My Big Redneck Wedding"  ?
• Is your last name Kardashian?
• Is your full name Charlie Sheen?
• If you only had $20 to your name, would you spend $18 on lottery tickets?
• Have you ever quit a job because you got an email stating that someone you never heard of in Nigeria left you 300 million dollars.

This may seem a little harsh, but I'm only looking out for the greater good of society. Besides, anyone who fails can just have a virtual family. I'm sure Facebook could cook up a "Childrenville"  game in just a couple of days. Then people could have as many kids as they want and, if they forget to feed them or leave them outside in a blizzard; they can just start over. Another area that I think needs some regulation is voting. Every time an election comes around we hear a lot of talk about how everyone should exercise their right. I totally disagree. In fact, way too many people vote who shouldn't. For example:

• Anyone who only votes because someone gave them a sandwich
• People who think the constitution is a condition that you take a laxative for
• Anyone who's undecided about which presidential candidate to vote for two hours before the polls close
• Anyone who believes that raising taxes on their employer will somehow benefit them
• People who believe that providing health insurance to an additional 30 million people will reduce the amount of money spent

I know these ideas might be unpopular but, if we're going to limit freedoms, we'll see a lot more benefits from these than from limiting portion sizes at restaurants. Of course, none of us want the government making these decision, so who should it fall to? I think the answer is obviously... me. Don't worry, I'll use the power wisely. I really don't even want or have time for these added responsibilities; I just happen to be the best person for the job. So, I'll make the sacrifice. Your Welcome,

We Need Spending Cuts, Just Don't Mess With My Stuff

The most disturbing thing about the teacher's union mess in Wisconsin is that these morons get paid to educate young people. Yeah, I know you got promised a bunch of stuff and now you might not get all of it, and it's not fair. Guess what; there's not really a rabbit that brings you a basket of candy on Easter Sunday either. The fifteen million people that have lost their jobs in the last three years are probably not that broken up about you having to contribute a little to your own health care and retirement. I know it's hard to believe, but there is not an endless supply of rich people you can raise taxes on to sustain your lifestyle. Welcome to the real world. Those of you who have chosen to ignore reality are in for a long string of disappointments. Instead of the golden eggs you were promised by your union bosses, you're all going to get an equal share of a big steaming pile of turds. You should have read some world history during one of your seventy five paid sick or personal days. Just ask the people of Cuba, or Vietnam, or Russia; socialism isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Hey Jack, How 'Bout A Code Red on Govt. Workers

Great News!, I've got a solution to pay off the national debt in just a few days. We need to have a national carnival using government workers, spread across the entire country including all branches; federal, state, local, even HOA's. Imagine this: a huge midway with those ripoff carnival games, you know, where it costs fifty bucks to win a happy meal toy. You've all seen dunking booths, where an individual sits on a seat over a tub of water and you throw baseballs at a lever that dumps them if you hit it; only with a couple of twists. First, make it ice water, then you put a government worker on the seat, but instead of throwing at the lever, you just throw directly at the worker. So, if you've got any kind of aim at all; you either pop the worthless bum, or he dives off to avoid it. As the carnies say "Everyone's A Winner! How about the game where you mow down fake ducks with a semi-automatic BB gun; I think you can see where I'm going with this. Of course the higher the rank of worker, the more expensive the ticket. So, for a couple of bucks, you can whack the smart ass from the driver's license office, but plunking a congressman or senator will cost substantially more. But hey, it's for a good cause right? A good three day weekend of this and we'll have a budget surplus. I had a run-in with OSHA last week as part of my job. Of course we thought we were right and they were wrong, but that's not the point. The guy we dealt with was the most arrogant jackass I've come across in a long time. He must either have some seriously repressed homosexual tendencies, or perhaps he's had a large foreign object lodged in his anus for about a decade, I'm not sure. This is a guy who's never had a job with a private sector business that had to make a profit. Instead, he's spent a career leached on the back of business, sucking the life out like a big fat tick. This type of attitude isn't exclusive to OSHA, have you made a call to Social Security or the I.R.S. lately? It's bad enough that most of them aren't smart enough to be greeters at Walmart, they're jerks on top of it. I'm not talking about teachers, cops, firemen, or postal workers. Those people perform actual services that we need. I'm talking bureaucrats and their flunkies. I think every tax paying American should get 5 coupons a year that are good for firing the government worker of their choice, for any reason at all. "You made me wait in line for an hour, then sent me to a different line? Okay, you're fired; no warning, no severance, no pension, no appeal to your union rep. Just pack your stuff, and get your lazy, obnoxious, over-paid ass outta here; and don't make me call security." You think that would improve customer service a little? And if you think this is harsh or you don't have the heart to fire people; no problem, just send your coupons to me, cause my five will be gone in the first hour. Here's something you government workers need to understand."You produce nothing and are very well paid for it, you're all about as valuable as Charlie Sheen's liver, if 99% of your jobs were permanently eliminated, it would be the best thing that's happened to this country since 1776." Since that isn't likely to happen anytime soon, how about losing the attitude; it's really pissing us off. To quote Col. Nathan R. Jessep; "I would prefer it if you just said Thank You."

Are You Just Trying To Piss Me Off

I've never considered myself a conspiracy theorist, but it seems like damn near everyone on the planet is intentionally trying to annoy me. For a about a week, the local news media has been demanding that I stay home to avoid the blizzard...I live in Houston, TX, not Chicago. The latest trend of the national media is to tell me how much better the rest of the world, particularly China, is than America. They're smarter, better parents, harder workers, more compassionate...Really? I hear we should make our schools more like China's. Aren't there about 700 billion people in China? If they're so damn smart; why do they let a government of a few hundred tell them how many kids they can have? But they're taking our jobs, they must be smart. Yeah that's it, plus prevailing wage over there is about fifty cents an hour. What about Europe? Consider this visual; sixty year old men in Speedos. We might be the fattest country in the world, but at least we've got the good sense not to go butt naked at the beach. And by the way Europe, there's a new American model of technology you might want to try, it's called the shower, and why does your beer look and taste like motor oil? I hear the world is tired of America, they might stop selling us oil, cut off our credit, or stop taking our money. That's a brilliant strategy, then they can all join together and build one big ass bridge to live under. Come to think of it, wasn't living under a bridge invented by the American homeless. We're not perfect though, we've created one hell of a mess and we certainly have our share of idiots. The fact that so many people believe all that crap I just mentioned is evidence of that. Tell you what though, I just got a new iphone this week and that thing is a greater technological marvel than the space shuttle. And, as far as I know, Steve Jobs isn't Chinese. We've got some problems to fix, but I think we're better off fixing them ourselves. Especially since the rest of the world is crossing oceans in inner tubes and tunneling under rivers to get here. We must be doing something right. Gotta go now, I'm going jogging in the blizzard...in a Speedo.